COURTSHIP
A simple tolerance of the other's beliefs or conceptions is not enough to establish a life-long partnership.
Courtship requires
time and reflection of one's life partner. It will be a great mistake to
choose a partner and celebrate the wedding in a few days.
There are different stages in courtship,
Courtship refer to the
attitude of two love birds who begins to take special interest in each
other and try to attract each other's attention.
They start meeting alone, to exchange views little signs of affection and tenderness. They listens to each others feelings such as physical sensation, emotion and awareness.
The need for a
convenient period of courtship should not be undervalued for a
successful marriage. Each other's feelings, idea past and orientations
of life must be tested so that, they may decide whether a life together
will be possible and fruitful. Most especially when the partner is
chosen by the parents or someone else. A period of courtship is necessary in order to make sure
that he or she is the suitable person with whom one will enter into life
long companionship.
Lets get it clear that
the first experience in courtship need not necessarily end in marriage.
There maybe other encounters before right person is selected. Courtship
should not be considered as a binding commitment, but as a starting
relationship which can be broken off at another moment.
Partners are to accept
the fact to watch carefully its developments and to be ready to talk
freely about what is positive or negative in it. Instead of opposing it,
they must be able to play also on this occasion their role of educators
by advising and guiding them.
Lovebirds on their
parts should know that courtship is a serious thing. One must not
indulge in it just for the fun of it, or when one is not yet ready for
marriage because of age, studies or other reasons. One should be able
give up courting a person when one decides not to marry her. Sincerity
and honesty demand that one expresses one's decision and leaves the
other free to make another choice. It is also advisable to avoid too
long a courtship, which easily results in waste of time or in two people
getting married only because they have spent so much together.
Two love birds are to
isolate themselves and spend enough time together. But not advisable
that they give up completely their participation in a larger group.
It would also provide them occasions to reveal to each other different sides of their temperament which do not come out when they are alone.
It would also provide them occasions to reveal to each other different sides of their temperament which do not come out when they are alone.
Commitment:-
Engagement is the term
that indicates the formal commitment which the two love birds make to
marry each other. This commitment always come in or marked in the public
function, even a religious ceremony publicly known and accepted.
The importance of an
engagement is to avoid gossip, double dating, blasphemy, unseriousness
of partners and so on. It also give the top lovebirds rise to allow them
spend more time together and enable them plan their future life
together. It will be wrong and unwise for parents to prevent the young
couple from seeing and spending more time together. By so doing they
would cause the engagement to miss its very aim. Although the engagement
is already a binding act, not yet the marriage itself. Therefore it is
still possible to break it. The chance of an engagement breaking is
higher when it has not been proceed in a convenient time of courtship.
Continue reading here... COURTSHIP (PART TWO)
Written by
Remi Badmus
Relationship Expert/Counsel.
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