TIPS TO HELP YOU AVOID DEFFICULTIES IN MARRIAGE.
The real difficulties arise only when one or both partners have a sort of psychological dependence on their parents, which prevents them from thinking and deciding independently.
This tendency is frequent in men, as a consequence of the possessive love of their mothers. Though young partners should overcome the attitude of over-dependence on parents, they should also ensure that their mutual love and self - sufficiency do not deprive their parents of anything due to them. On the contrary, it should foster a new type of love which is deeper because it is more mature. The difficulties which a wife encounters especially with her mother in law are easily resolved if her husband is able to stand by her. Making it clear that he is giving priority to his marital commitment.
(6) Should a couple ever have recourse to divorce?
Answer:-
Divorce is only the legal zeal of a failure which affects bitterly each one of the parents and their children. If difficulties between parents arise, divorce should never be considered as the last resort. On the contrary, all possible steps should be taken to avoid it. In case the parents are unable to peacefully settle their differences, they should not hesitate to seek the aid of an experience counselor.
Only then after many attempts have been made reached.
Separation may become an unavoidable need for certain couples. If they feel compelled to separate, the parents should adequately plan the future of the children, adopting the solutions which are more convenient for them. Sometimes, for the sake of the children, parents are inclined to postpone separation.
Divorce is only the legal zeal of a failure which affects bitterly each one of the parents and their children. If difficulties between parents arise, divorce should never be considered as the last resort. On the contrary, all possible steps should be taken to avoid it. In case the parents are unable to peacefully settle their differences, they should not hesitate to seek the aid of an experience counselor.
Only then after many attempts have been made reached.
Separation may become an unavoidable need for certain couples. If they feel compelled to separate, the parents should adequately plan the future of the children, adopting the solutions which are more convenient for them. Sometimes, for the sake of the children, parents are inclined to postpone separation.
Normally, this
solution is not practical. In fact, if the embattled couple are not able
to achieve a certain harmony between themselves, the decisions is
likely to affect the growth of the children adversely.
(7) Is sex outside marriage allowed?
Answer:-
Man and woman find
pleasure in staying together, in talking, working, studying and
fulfilling together many of their social duties. This pleasure is an
important factor of social life and personal growth of which no one
should be deprived.
Some expressions of intimacy may be allow in different degrees and according to the local customs of those who are courting or engaged, so that they may know each other better and develop their intimacy.
But sexual intercourse and whatever is directly preparation to it, is the exclusive privilege of married people and is not allowed before or outside marriage.
Some expressions of intimacy may be allow in different degrees and according to the local customs of those who are courting or engaged, so that they may know each other better and develop their intimacy.
But sexual intercourse and whatever is directly preparation to it, is the exclusive privilege of married people and is not allowed before or outside marriage.
(8) How do I love?
Answer:-
You can only love by
appreciating someone. Everyone needs appreciation. We all like to hear
words such as " I appreciate the way you help my parents. You are
wonderful!". If we receive no appreciation, we feel hurt.
One wife writes, my husband doesn't seem to notice that the house is clean and his shirts are ironed. He only says. Is dinner ready? We should show appreciation not only in private, but also in public. How nice it is to receive a complement in front of friends!
Today you can begin appreciating your partner. Ask yourself two questions:
One wife writes, my husband doesn't seem to notice that the house is clean and his shirts are ironed. He only says. Is dinner ready? We should show appreciation not only in private, but also in public. How nice it is to receive a complement in front of friends!
Today you can begin appreciating your partner. Ask yourself two questions:
(a) What things do I honestly like about my partner?
(b) How can I show my appreciation?
The best way to
answer these questions is paper and pen.
First, write a list of five good qualities in your partner. (Even if there are many things you don't like at least five good qualities).
First, write a list of five good qualities in your partner. (Even if there are many things you don't like at least five good qualities).
Secondly, write one way in which you can show him/her that you appreciate each of those qualities.
HERE'S AN EXAMPLE
THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY PARTNER
1. She takes good care of our Children
2. She is hospitable to our Guests
3. She is Caring
4. People like her because she is cheerful and a talkative
5. I love her height
2. She is hospitable to our Guests
3. She is Caring
4. People like her because she is cheerful and a talkative
5. I love her height
HOW I CAN SHOW MY APPRECIATION
1. I can say to the children, you kids are fortunate to have a mother who loves you so much. I will say this to her hearing.
2. I can tell her " I appreciate the way you accommodate our visitors
3. I can compliment her each time
4. I can tell her that my cousin say I am fortunate to have such a friendly wife
2. I can tell her " I appreciate the way you accommodate our visitors
3. I can compliment her each time
4. I can tell her that my cousin say I am fortunate to have such a friendly wife
Why don't you put draw up your own list now, fetch a paper and pen, and write a list like the one above.
HUSBAND
*Tell your wife. "I love you" and then give a specific
reason. Her face will brighten up as you mention something about her
that delight you.
*Give her little gift once in a while, let her know that
this gift is " just because I love you" and is not that " I'm expecting
you to pay for it with special favour in bed tonight.
*Be careful how you speak to her when you are angry.
*Spend time sitting and talking with her, let her know your thought and feeling.
*Always pray together. Place your problem in God hands.
WIFE
*When your husband comes home from work, give him a smile
and some cheerful words that will make him know how happy you are to see
him. Don't greet him with a sour face. Let your face lighten up as you
think of how valuable he is.
*When he does something kind, thank him! Two of the most loving words are " thank you".
*Wear a dress that he likes, and let him know that you are wearing it just because it is his favourite.
Look for his good qualities, and mention them often.
Look for his good qualities, and mention them often.
*Some morning, while
he is still sleeping, bring him breakfast in bed. Use your best dishes,
set the tray near the bed, be wearing a see through nightie, and wake
him with kiss.
Probably the kiss will remain on his face all day. You may not like some of these ideas. That's all right. Think of your own, the ones that got your personality and culture.
Each day plan a special kindness that you can do for your partner that day. This requires effort. It takes effort to think of ideas and implement them. Yes! Love is hard work. But it makes a home wonderful.
Probably the kiss will remain on his face all day. You may not like some of these ideas. That's all right. Think of your own, the ones that got your personality and culture.
Each day plan a special kindness that you can do for your partner that day. This requires effort. It takes effort to think of ideas and implement them. Yes! Love is hard work. But it makes a home wonderful.
Keep experiencing a beautiful home!!!!!!
Cheers!!!
Written by
Remi Badmus (Mrs.)
GIT 9ja Relationship Expert/Counsel.
See also:
Written by
Remi Badmus (Mrs.)
GIT 9ja Relationship Expert/Counsel.
See also:
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